- Putting the stress on yourself to find ways to relax can increase anxiety and make you feel “stressless.”
- Health experts say there are several ways to avoid or overcome the feeling of stress fatigue.
- Chronic stress can increase a number of health risks, including high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.
Recognizing that you are stressed and need to relax is a good step to help yourself.
However, if you add more stress to your life by looking for ways to relieve stress, you may end up feeling “stressless,” a counterproductive effect that can lead to a vicious cycle of increasing anxiety and worry.
“This term refers to the phenomenon or experience of people who are in an anxious or stressed state and try to calm down and feel more relaxed by forcing themselves to take a break or shut down,” Dr. Michael Schirripa, psychiatrist, podcast host and author of the upcoming novel Mindhunt, told Healthline.
When people force themselves to relax, they may become more anxious and more worried about how well or efficiently they are actually able to relax.
The clinical term for “stress relaxation” is anxiety induced by relaxation, says Deborah Serani, Psy.D., a professor at Adelphi University and author of the award-winning book “Living with Depression.”
“Research suggests that you are more prone to stress relief if you already have general anxiety or rumination. Other evidence suggests that people with stress relief issues may experience panic attacks in addition to stress and anxiety. And then there are others who become depressed because they cannot relax freely,” she told Healthline.
In many ways, the brain resists forced relaxation, especially the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is always on the lookout for danger.
“We have to remember that our brain is always on and is actually designed to be anxious. After all, this anxiety can keep us alive because we are always aware of the potential dangers that could threaten us,” Schirripa said.
People who live with anxiety, worry and rumination have problems with cognitive control, meaning they find it difficult to “put certain thoughts on hold,” says Serani.
“In another context, there are some people who need to stay busy because rest, space and relaxation can subconsciously trigger negative thoughts or memories of traumatic experiences,” she added.
Schirripa said that external pressures and internal dynamics make it difficult for people to relax.
External pressures such as work, studies, family and other obligations can make people feel constantly connected to the outside world and dependent on the behest of others.
“They may then feel obligated to meet the demands of these external influences, and this can lead to the perception that they are not actually allowed to have time out or a space to relax that is just for them,” Schirripa said.
Serani found that there are no longer clear boundaries between working time and free time.
“A long time ago, the workday ended at 5 p.m. and weekends were for rest and relaxation. Shops were closed on Sundays, which helped make it easier to stay home and relax. Those predictable guidelines just don’t exist anymore,” she said.
In addition, technology, access and other modern conveniences have blurred the lines between work and leisure, leading to what Princeton University sociologist Dalton Conley has called “weisure” (the merging of work and leisure activities).
“So it becomes very difficult to find time to relax,” Serani said.
Internal dynamics that impair the ability to relax include the urge to stay active and not giving yourself permission to slow down and relax.
“Sometimes people are afraid that if they relax they will be bored. Or they are afraid that if they slow down and relax they will have to focus too much on their thoughts and feelings,” says Schirripa.
Chronic stress is associated with
“If you don’t stop and smell the roses, depression and anxiety, as well as social, relational and interpersonal problems, can arise,” Serani said.
Not being able to properly unwind and relax can cause the nervous system to “reset” and function at an overstimulated level, adds Natalie Christine Dattilo, PhD, clinical psychologist, founder of Priority Wellness and lecturer at Harvard Medical School.
“Over time, this can make it harder to elicit a relaxation response,” she told Healthline. “I meet people who tell me they feel agitated, nervous, and anxious ‘from the neck down,’ but they don’t describe feeling anxious mentally at all… which to me is an indication that we need to actively reset their default activation state through targeted relaxation exercises.”
When trying to relax, Dattilo says the first thing to realize is that relaxation is not as passive an activity as people are led to believe, and that it does not come naturally to some people.
“I think one of the main reasons some people have difficulty relaxing is because it’s actually a skill that we need to practice regularly to fully experience its beneficial effects,” Dattilo said.
People often confuse relaxation with “switching off”.
“It can certainly give our brain a break, but the real goal of relaxation is to ‘switch off’ our nervous system,” Dattilo said.
Downshifting is done by a
“It counteracts the negative effects of stress and brings our nervous system back into homeostatic balance,” she said.
The relaxation response can be triggered by visualization, muscle relaxation, massage, breathing techniques, meditation, prayer and yoga.
Try the following tips to get your relaxation started.
- Setting boundaries between work and private life“Also, remember to turn off technology early every night. Make self-care a priority and learn how to do it every day,” Serani said.
- Practice the Benson relaxation method, which
contains Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, consciously relax all your muscles, start at your feet and work your way up to your head, breathing slowly, for 20 minutes. “This will probably feel a little challenging or forced at first, so maybe start with 5 minutes and gradually increase,” Dattilo said. - Focus on a “Done” list to remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished. “Thinking about the to-do list keeps you in the future and prevents you from being in the here and now,” says Serani. “Highlighting your done list allows you to celebrate your completed tasks and relax. A done list helps you dwell on the past.”
- Do a 5-minute meditation. “Studies
show that just 5 minutes of deep breathing, silence and calm can improve mental and physical performance,” Serani said. If you have more time to meditate, consider a guided meditation using an app, or simply rest, take a nap or enjoy some solitude, she said. - Nourish your senses and ground yourself by using the “5,4,3,2,1 technique” to reduce anxiety and relax more easily. “Ask yourself to find 5 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, 4 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste,” Serani said.
